Amu, io cred că mai toți ieșim, din când în când, prin cârciumi. Mai vedem un om, mai pușcăm un suc din diverse cereale, mă rog, fiecare face câteva ceva.
O constantă a (aproape) tuturor cârciumilor din România È™i, practic, din lume, e că în ele servesc ospătari. Care ospătari, băieÈ›i sau fete, uneori sunt mai isteÈ›i, alteori mai simpatici, alteori complet cretini È™i alteori foarte neplăcuÈ›i. Arhi, de exemplu, È™tie că eu am aÈ™a, ca o pasiune pentru ospătari – majoritatea n-au să mă uite niciodată, probabil 
ÃŽn discuÈ›iile cu ei (ospătarii, băieÈ›i sau fete) privitoare la comandă sau la plată, se întâmplă deseori să te ciocneÈ™ti de niÈ™te replici de-È›i stă logica-n loc. Le reÈ›ii, le povesteÈ™ti cu prietenii, mai râdeÈ›i, le mai uitaÈ›i….
Ei bine, astea sunt cele mai tari 3 replici pe care le-am auzit de la un ospătar în ultimul an. Și am să vă rog mult, dacă aveÈ›i È™i voi poveÈ™ti din astea, să le lăsaÈ›i la comentarii, să facem o colecÈ›ie frumoasă de replici de ospătari. Cu singura condiÈ›ie să fie reale, numa’ zic.
Nu e un top, sunt în ordine cronologică.
1. Ospătărița de la Gothic, din Cetatea din Alba Iulia
– Care e diferenÈ›a dintre sos de usturoi È™i mujdei de usturoi ? întreb eu
– Mujdei n-avem, răspunde ea
2. Ospătarul de la Bond’s, din TimiÈ™oara
– Ce bere aveÈ›i la halbă ? întreb eu
– Practic, pot să vă pun orice bere în halbă, răspunde el
3. Ospătărița din Dacvila, Timișoara
– Cât costă o pizza cu ton È™i 2 beri beck’s ? întreb eu, scoțând portofelul pentru a plăti consumaÈ›ia mea.
– (după 5 minute revine È™i zice) ÃŽmi pare rău, dar am vorbit la bucătărie È™i la ora asta nu mai facem pizza.
Mno, aveți și voi replici din astea ?
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Prima intrebare e cam…
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Cam cum ?
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Mujdei de usturoi e pleonasm :D.
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Pai daca asa aveau in meniu, sos de usturoi si mujdei de usturoi… si daca-mi amintesc bine, parca aveau si preturi diferite.
Deci logic, eram curios care-i, in viziunea lor, diferenta, nu ?
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Alexandra Palconi, mujdei de usturoi e printre putinele pleonasme care este acceptat in limba romana
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vreti o carafa de vin la jumate sau la o.5? (casa vichingilor)
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:)))) si ? ce-ai ales ? :))))
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am ales una de 1/2 :))
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fratele meu alb, nici nu vreau sa ma gandesc cate flegme am mancat cu tine la restaurant…
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fratioare, important e ca uite, inca suntem bine, sanatosi
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Am una care, desi veche, nu o pot uita. Anii ’80 la Hotel Perla, Mamaia. Am comandat o friptura dar parca as fi mancat si un mic, si deci zic; “si doi mici langa friptura”
Replica a fost: “n-avem doi, numai patru”
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– Salitos tequila aveti?
– Avem tequila, dar nu salitos..
(undeva la un pub in Craiova acum cativa ani. Am uitat cum se numeste locul dar m-a marcat..)
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plm, la cati anticorpi ne-am tras…
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:)) pot sa folosesc calculatoru? pizza cu ton ai zis? de la care provider ca noua ne-0 picat reteaua…
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Pingback: Chelnerii si replicile lor memorabile- Elena Cîrîc
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Intr-o pizzerie din Suceava, dupa ce s-a intarziat cu comanda aproape 2 ore: ne pare rau, insa la bucatarie s-a produs o nebuloasa si comanda dvs a fost compromisa.
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Bucuresti:
-O ciorba de legume va rog.
-Nu avem de legume , dar luati una de vacuta , are si legume in ea.
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la o terasa, comand un santal de pere. primesc unul de piersici. era pus in pahar, mi-am dat seama cand l-am gustat.
cand vine chelnerita, ii atrag atentia ca eu am comandat altceva.
raspuns “oricum au acelasi gust” :)))))))))
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Ha ha ha ha
-Serviți la masă? întreabă un client pe fătuca de la bar.
-Da, ocupați loc și vin imediat.
Clientul: -Veniți gata despuiată ori vă despuiați în timp ce faceți streptease-ul pe masă?
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deci dragut, da’ ziceam sa fie reale, nu bancuri
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La un restaurant in Sovata: – As dori un gratar de pui si cartofi natur. Chelnerita: Vreti si o salata de varza? Da, cum sa nu! Ea: N-avem!
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Acelasi barman din Bond’s din Timisoara, se plictisea, nu erau clienti, si imi spune din senin:
“Alex, tu ai realizat ca daca stai cu capu-n jos, dreapta devine stanga?”
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Foarte tare cea din Alba.
Tot acolo, la cetate, parca pub13 ii zice. Nu mai tin minte exact numele ca era acum cativa ani, da’ am fost cu un prieten si am aflat ca, serendipity nu alta!, localul fusese demult pulberarie :)). Asta am aflat-o noaptea, la beri.
Ziua, sa “servim” ceva (mereu le zic chelnerosilor ca am venit sa mananc, sa serveasca ei ).
Si aveau in meniu ciorba de fasole in paine si inca una. Si cer una de-aia in paine, cu ceapa
La care domnisoara, draguta de-altfel, zice “Nu stiu daca mai avem de-aia. Cred ca ar trebui sa intreb la bucatarie”. Gata, nimic, nici o miscare, Continua sa stea teapana cu pixu’ in mana.
Am inceput sa rad, ce sa fac :))Apoi i-am zis ca sa intrebe 😀
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A, si mai am una de mare nesimtire de la hanul lui manuc, bucuresti.
De la un chelner genu’ gelat, lant, burta, mers de ratza si balanganind servetu’ (stiti mersu’ ala de idiot, cu mainile departate, ca un culturist ratat) si. nu in ultimul rand, cu aerul ca imi face cel mai imens favor din lume.
Never again!!!!!
De foarte mare kkt localu’ (asta era in 2006, i-or fi concediat pe aia). In plus kitsch-uri.
Replica nici nu mai conteaza, e oricum mai lunga povestea, era doar o tzar’ de defulare
ozzy faina
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Tinecz – Timisoara
Eu: As dori un stroganoff va rog.
Ospatarul: Alege altceva ca e aberant sa mananci stroganoff pe caldura asta.
Insa cea mai buna mi se pare cerinta unei domnisoare (in urma cu vreo 10 ani):
Ea: As vrea sa beau ceva mai light.
Ospatarul: Va recomand Whisky Cream.
Ea: Sigur, dar adu-mi numai crema te rog ca nu vreau sa ma imbat.
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chelner: cu ce vă servesc?
eu: aş vrea ceva la halbă. ce îmi recomandaţi?
chelner: păi depinde ce vreÅ£i: bere, cola, fanta, sprite …
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Eu lucrand prin cluburi/restaurante am intalnit fel si fel de crestini de genul- gras, burta, ceafa lata, NEGRU, gagica buna blonda prezentabila finuta etc- ma duc, iau comanda:
-buna seara cu ce va pot servi?
-o vodka apple dar in pahare diferite
-deci 50 vodka si un suc de mere
-da
.. ma intorc intre timp cu bautura, pun vodka in fata malacului si sucu de mere in fata domnsoarei, logic dupa parerea mea, ei nu!
-alo pustiulica ce faci? imi zice el autoritar. ea bea vodka eu beau suc de mere.
—
altu
-buna seara cu ce va pot servi?
-deci o ceafa de porc mare, daca n-aveti mare, puneti doua mici, o portie dubla de cartofi,o salata de vara.
-atat?
-da
-doriti si paine?
-a, nu, sunt la regim.
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:))
ASta, cu ceafa de porc, imi aminteste de americanii aia obezi care comanda 6 cheeseburgeri dubli si o cola, dar sa fie dietetica :))
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